Wednesday, 25 February 2015

One Year On...

Hello everyone,

It has been over a year since I wrote to you but I am thinking it is time to get better acquainted again. Top of my news today is that the love of my life, The Man, proposed to me whilst we were on holiday.  I never thought I would ever marry, not that I have anything against marriage just I couldn't picture it but I have met someone that I can now, I can picture myself being his wife.  I will hopefully have a chance to add some pictures of the ring and tell you the story behind it all but unfortunately I am going to have to crack on with my homework.

I have been off work for a couple of days due to the joys of MS and today I feel better than I have done but still pretty ropey.  I am studying with the Open University for a degree in Computer Science, which I am loving but when the MonSter rears his ugly head it makes it a little tough to concentrate.  I think I like the challenge of it all is what keeps me going, achieving against the odds but it is tough.

So I have an assessment due in tomorrow and a workplace I am aiming to return to tomorrow so I better go do that and then I will be back to tell you more about me later.

Loves for now

J x

Thursday, 30 January 2014

Life, Study, Work and time to be sick!

It has been a while people and for that I am sorry, life has just charged away with me.  I am still going strong, I just came out of a relapse but I am all better now and racing along at what feels a billion miles an hour.  The MonSter has been kept at bay nicely with the help of Tysabri, Baclofen, Lyrica and will power.

I have to tell you that I have started a degree in Computer Science.  As some of you will know I work in I.T so it is a natural step, I better learn stuff or they might find out I am clueless.  I am doing it part time while I work full-time so it is a little tough but it is worth it.  It will take me 6 years but thats ok, I am not in a rush, I am doing it for me, no one else, I am doing it so that I can be proud of myself.  I always said if I did a degree it would be for me and not for the merry-go-round promotion malarkey.  I have always thought that it is better to get places on merit and not on a piece of paper.  I am not saying people with degrees don't have merit, degrees are touch and I respect them getting them but until now it has not been high on the agenda.

I thought I would share some more holiday photos as well have just got back from Barbados and I have to tell you it is paradise.  I can't explain how amazing it is, island, the people, the food and ocean.  We went back to the same hotel and it was amazing, sometimes it is a gamble going back to the same place incase it isn't as good but this was perfect.  The staff remembered us and it was like coming home, they even gave us the same room.

Look -

Can't wait to be there next year!

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

New Baby King is born

Yesterday a baby was born to Kate Middleton and Prince William.  Whatever you may think of this I am over joyed, I love the monarchy just for the link to our countries history, I think they do an amazing job for us.  So I thought we should take a minute just to acknowledge it.

Over and out

Friday, 12 April 2013


Well folks I am back at work which is amazing and I am loving it.  I have to make notes all the time because I am finding my memory is not once it once was but saying that I am trying to get a long without worrying too much about it.  It is all about finding the ways round obstacles and not letting them trip.  Work is good because it is challenging in millions of different ways but if I am at work it means that Monster is at bay so all in all it is a winning day.

I have just had the second round of Botox in my bladder which has really helped me keep to a normal life.  It is a nightmare having urgency and then not being able to go, also having urgency every 40 minutes is tiring through the night and day so I am a massive fan of the Botox.  I also now have to remind myself to go, quite the opposite from before.

I am just rushing off down to my Mum and Dad's to see my eldest brother and sister in law so I shouldn't really be writing to you but I thought I would just nip on for 2 seconds and say hello.  I am going to wear my onesie down in the car so if you are all lucky I will take a picture and let you see how ridiculous I look.

Bye bye for now.

Jessica xxxxx

Friday, 15 February 2013


I should quickly mention that we went Barbados at the beginning of the year, it was amazing!  It was just The Man and I and it was magical.  I thought I would not bore you with a big details account of our holiday but put on some pictures for you to see.

This was our amazing hotel room,  we stayed in Garrison in the converted Rum Stores.

The Man and I had just swam at sunset and it was perfect.

Every day at sunrise they brought the race horses from the islands race track down to swim.

The Man and I on a boat on the way to go down in a submarine (my Daddy was a Submariner) 

This is a Cruise liner and I just thought it was a gorgeous picture.

This was a view out of the submarine window, we went down 150ft to the bottom of the reef.

This bell was given to the islands first church by the Bell Foundry in Whitechaple.

This was a view from our beach

Another one of the horses swimming, they were stunning.

Thats it xxxx

Changing to Lyrica

I have over the past 2 weeks gone from taking 1800mg of Gabapentin to taking 225mg of Lyrica.  I was having a couple of weird side effects and I was waking up with intense pain in my spasming legs.  So my wonderful MS nurse suggested I start taking Lyrica, it is still patented so it is really expensive but can be more effective so I felt positive about the change.  I actually don't like messing with my medications, I find it is such a fine balance but if my MS nurse tells me that it is a good idea then I trust her.  I actually trust her completely and I know that I can always talk to her and be honest about how the medication is affecting me or when I need something else.  It is so important to have people around you that you trust, medical people are often scary because they have the knowledge that you wish you had so that you could know how to piece yourself back together.  The thing that I think we all forget is, we have the feelings, we know what it feels like, we are what they have studied so our input is essential.

It get me down when I can not go to work because of my illness but this was a side effect, this time my disease was not flaring up it was just an adjustment of meds.  This meant that although I have been really frustrated about not getting to work I did have a slightly more calming experience this time because I knew it was only temporary and that I would soon be back on top of the world.  Today is the first day that I feel clear headed, I have not taken my afternoon tablets yet but hopefully I will stay on that track and feel good.

I thought I would also share my reasons for writing this stuff down, it wasn't to make people aware, it wasn't to educate anyone, it was simply one girls story about living with MS and how dealing with life on top of that can sometimes be a little tough.  I think sometimes I forget the purpose of my words, I forget why I transferred my diary onto a blog that others could read and the purpose originally was to allow my friends and family to read it to know how I was doing and also to hopefully comfort others who have MS, knowing that others go through it as well.  It is good to remember this, clear the confusion and hopefully move on from here and get back into writing because I really miss it when i don't write.

Over and out for now
Jess xxx

Dear Elizabeth


I have decided what might be making it so hard for me write.  I always found writing to you so easy and then I was told I had to let you go.  I did a session where someone told me that the relationship I have with you is not healthy and that I should do the right thing and let you go.  I think this might have been the worst advice someone has ever given me.  I have gone through my life knowing that you were there, knowing that this path I walk has two sets of footprints in the sand.  I have spoken through writing to you for more years than I can remember and that is something my life needs.  I am sure the advice was meant with good intentions but I am not ready or willing to give this up.  Hopefully figuring this out will free up my mind and allow me to write to you like I always have.  Thanks for waiting for me.

All my love
Jess xxxx