Massive design flaw God-do.

So apologies readers for the lack of comms over the last few days, Monster, Geraldine, the Man and I have had a bit of an adventure.  It was Skelly’s funeral on Friday and that was possibly the saddest day I have known in my life.  Things have happened to me over the years and I have lost people in my life before but never have I been so affected as losing Skelly.  He was someone that I have both respected and cherished ever since the first day I met him and still I feel like this is a big misunderstanding and God will return him to us and take another A-hole that deserves a short ending.  It has proved to me over the last few weeks that the short time we have in this world should be spent learning, getting know people, caring about others and yourself and trying to improve the world around you.  Skelly might be gone but what he left behind will never be forgotten, he brought so many of us together in the Cox and our friendships now will have to last, in his memory.

The funeral itself was very emotional and very touching.  Actually when I say touching I do mean it, I must have touched the arse of the boy in front of me about a hundred times through the service, every time I lifted the tissue to my nose, I stroked his butt.  The crematorium was so packed that we could hardly all fit, there must have been nearly 200 people if not more.  The service was short but true to him, as we went in they played Robbie Williams ‘Angel’, half way through the service they played Spandu Ballet ‘Through the Barricades ‘ and right at the end we all left to Gerry and the Pacemakers ‘You’ll never walk alone’ (anthem of Liverpool Football Club).  After everyone headed back to the Cox (The Fighting Cocks) and drank to Skelly.  Through the whole time I have drank in the pub faces have come and gone but everyone appeared to say their goodbyes.

I had to leave the Wake to go and see my Doctor, I know exciting times.  Weirdly enough I found out that Skelly and I share the same Doc.  Hope he does a better job with me or I will haunt his educated arse for eternity.  No, that is unfair I am sure that Doc did everything he could for Skelly.  He agreed with me about the Lumber Puncture and said that he had no issue with referring me to Dr.Elrington so that is good, thank goodness because there might have been police cars and cell doors in this story if he had argued with me.  Sorry to disappoint you but my day ended with one glass of wine at the wake and  falling asleep on the Man watching a film with my Mumma and Pops.

So Friday was a whole mixture of emotion for me, I am not good with emotion so I find it exhausting.  Lucky for me the Man was with me all day and helped me through it.  Monster  was there as well and of course Geraldine.  Monster must have known I was having a tough time and was relatively well behaved.  Obviously he wasn’t silent but he did leave off the shocks and I think I only had 4 relatively small ones.  I went to bed and slept reasonably well all things considered.

I think that some people are so funny when interacting with you when there is some thing different about you.  People who I have known for about 6 years, all talking and laughing round the pub and some show honest concern for you, others just look and instantly take the piss.  I know that it is exactly what I would do but if is an odd experience being on the receiving end of it.  I am not one for blabbing about it too much some when people asked me I just said I had a knee injury, folk laugh and ask you if if was a ‘drunken injury’, guess that makes it easier because had it been that, there would be a 99.9% chance drink would have been involved.  So people that I have been close to in the pub were weirded out by Geraldine and I think had no idea what to say about it, which also kind of made it easier.

Simon should have known better but chose not to be apart of my life and that still hurts, I have been ditched for yet another mental  case with severe insecurity issues causing Simon and I never to speak.  I didn’t actually realise how much it bothered me until I saw him again.  We used to be so close, meeting for a beer, putting the world to rights, laughing at each other but always knowing we had each others backs.  I knew that things would change when he got a girlfriend, they always do but I just never realised that it would mean totally sacrificing our entire friendship.  He said that he felt like he was lying to her but I can’t understand what about, why can he not be my friend, what is so damn bad with being my friend.  I don’t want him in any other way than as a friend, he obviously really likes this girl.  I know this has nothing to do with anything but it is bothering me, at the moment I want my true friends to be around me, to make me forget the monster but I feel that there is a gap, another hole in my life where someone should be and the weirdest thing is that he is still alive just nothing of the man he once was.

A running theme in my life has been male friends are quickly banned from being my friend as soon as they get a women.  I have no idea why this is because to be fair I am never romantically interested in them, we are just friends.  What is so wrong with me that most women see me as this massive threat?  ‘Lock up you men folk, Jess is coming!’  It is ridiculous, since when did the women race become so psychotic?  I don’t think that I am like this at all, don’t get me wrong I get jealous, that is natural but honestly, banning your man from seeing a friend seems a little extreme.  The only person I think I have not had issues with regarding this problem is my bestest male friend (in the world) Neil C, he basically tells women to make the effort or shut up.  I like this approach, better!

Enough whinging about men and their ridiculous ways, actually  before I wrap this up I truly believe that ‘God only gave men enough blood to operate on organ at a time, his brain or his w***y, never do you find one that can operate both at the same time’.  I think this is the best and truest statement said since the beginning of the human race.  Massive design flaw God-do.