This is going to be a bitty post because once again I am feeling particularly rough. I want to write but holding my head up is making me feel very sick and my head feels so heavy it feels like my neck is going to break. Sounds fun doesn't it. I also think I have an ear infection in my left ear which is uncomfortable, it doesn't really hurt but I am deaf in that ear at the moment. The Man is driving me down to my Mum and Dad's tonight which I am very grateful for. Sometimes nothing fixes you better than your parents. Just being around them makes me feel better.
Need to lie down now.
Ok round two. I told you that this was going to be a bitsy post but please bare with me.
Someone reminded me of the importance of communication, and that is what this blog is mainly for so I need to attempt to be clear on how I am and how I think so anyone reading this will understand me and hopefully Multiple Sclerosis a little better. Funny, the wisest man I know (my Daddy) once told me that people who come into your life should both bring something with them and also be able to take something from the friendship. By this he meant you should learn things from one another and hopefully you are both enriched by your friendship. Well I have met some people in the past year that have definitely done that for me and I hope I have succeeded in bringing something into their lives. I did just write a description of all the people close to me but I thought this would not be wise, in my mental state right now I am sure I would miss someone out and cause offense so I thought it better not to.
Everyday at the moment something happens to me and I am amazed, I fall over and what would have hurt before doesn’t, my head feels so heavy I can’t life my head, my legs and arms twitch in weird ways, I try to walk and I lock up and it goes on and on and on (trying not to bleat on about my poor bladder anymore). All these things are happening to me, I am in so much pain 90% of the time I can’t even think straight but sometimes I just drift off somewhere, somewhere that doesn’t feel so bad, its like taking a holiday out of my body. I often have to lie really still on my back and I only have my ceiling for company and it is in this weird time I seem to drift off a little. The pain is unbelievable most of the time and it is hard to explain how uncomfortable you can really feel in your own skin but maybe just maybe I have found a sanctuary in my own mind. Yep, I know, I am heading into madness, but I am going to welcome it people, if it doesn’t hurt I will embrace madness.