Good day everyone, we have been to the Remembrance Sunday Service down at the Hornet Sailing Club http://hornetsailingclub.co.uk/com.html it was HMS Hornet up until 1956, if your interested check out the history page on their website. The old war ship Medusa was there just on the other side of the war memorial which was amazing, if you are at all in the history of this boat please check out her website, she is quite amazing, http://www.hmsmedusa.org.uk/medusa_history.html. The service was very moving and the turn out was amazing seeming it was torrential rain. There were naval ratings there and also officers from all over the world. I feel so humble when I am around such great men and women, I have so much respect for anyone who is willing to join the armed forces. I would love to do something to raise money for them, but unfortunately at the moment all concentration is going on getting better but there is time for careful consideration on what to do.
So Monster is attacking at the moment and it is very frustrating. At the moment I feel like my skeleton is too big for my body, I feel like it is trying to stretch out of my skin. I know this may sound crazy to anyone else and it is difficult to explain but I will try. I have mentioned a few times that it is like being trapped in your own skin and that is exactly what it feels like in so many more ways than one. It is frustrating having the ambition to do things but not the physical capability, I want my life back, I want to walk and move around but at the moment I am so physically limited I feel trapped. Imagine being locked in a room and unable to get out, having everything you need in that room but not the freedom to go out, thats what it is like.
Along with that feeling, like I have explained my skeleton wants to escape. One of the feelings I get with this is it is uncomfortable when anything presses on me, if someone holds my hand it hurts a little, hugs hurt a little and even sitting and lying down is a little painful. This is definitely not in any competition with the pain I was experiencing before but is still a constant reminder that the Monster is lurking. Something else that my naughty little friend has been doing is hugging me tightly round the chest so it restricts my breathing, not comfortable but hey I will survive.
Lastly, (I know you have been looking forward to this bit) it’s toilet talk....yeaaaaa, well to be honest, not so much. Once again Monster has been stopping me going to the toilet and when I do manage to finally go a little bit it is only a little bit and it hurts. My bladder seems to be constantly full at the mo so this is uncomfortable, because I can only go a tiny bit it is just sore a lot. I have actually nicknamed it my ‘Wee Baby’ as it is starting to look like I am pregga’s because my tummy is always slightly swollen out with a full bladder.
Whenever I get down about things my Mum always reminds me of something very true and today is making me grateful for what I do have, not worrying about what I don’t have, that saying is
'Worst things happen at sea’