So on Thursday we were at a conference for work which was good, I did panic all day because of the amount of people that were there. It was a good day and the director of our section of Sky (thats who we work for) was absolutely amazing, they put us up in the Marriott hotel in Twickenham which was lovely and reduced the stress of getting here. He also asked me all the time if I was ok and if there was anything they coiuld do to make me more comfortable, also thanking me for making the effort to come to the conference so it was lovely.
I must admit that I had a little too much wine that night and spent most of yesterday paying the price for it. I think needed some drunk time (had about 5 glasses of wine) with all this medication thinking and future prospects I think I really needed time to just switch off and feel normal for a while. It is sad to say that my life is headed in a direction that I never could have ever imagined, these things happen to someone else, not to me. I was told the other day that I would have to start self Cathetrising (excuse the spelling) which is something at 29 I never thought I would hear. I know that it will help me but it is not s pleasant thing to have to learn to do and also knowing that this is something I will have to do baecause there is no treatment for this problem I have. Also that there is a high chance that I will lose the site completely in my right eye, and because my legs are affected there is a good chance that I will eventually end up in a chair.
I know that we shouldn't think if the future and none of us know our destinies but I feel sad that I have an insight into mind and however grim it might be we cannot change the course of it, I just have to be as prepared as I can to deal with it and ensure that I can enjoy ever but of my life with these disabilities. I am lucky because of the support network I have and the family that I have, every single person in my life plays a role that I need, every step of the way I have been blessed with kindness and support so I believe that the future is going to fine and that together we can cut our own shapes and enjoy it together.
Just of to Chiro now so will hopefully write again later.
Loves
Jess
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