I know that I have been terrible at writing to you all and I am so sorry about that, I know I always apologise and then don’t write again but the last few weeks have been tough for me. This is changing though and I am coming back to update you on this roller-coaster ride that has become my life. I have had the first infusion of Tysabri and it has helped, I am not sure entirely how much is the meds and how much is the hope but whatever it is I am feeling better. The infusion was ok as well, it wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be, and I got to meet some nice people as well.
The last few weeks it has been hard to type as my right eye has been so painful and using the computer has been sore, so I have taken a break to try and let it get better and it worked. I think I was also a little down about taking the new medication, I felt like I was selling out, giving up, turning down a one way street but I have decided to get on with it and try and only see the positives of the decision I made. I was so adamant that I wanted to do this on my own, stay away from Pharmaceutical companies and their poisons but it turns out, I am not that brave. I needed something to help slow this disease and the only people who have it are the evil ones, the ones that dictate more to us in than I think we ever realise. I don’t want to be disabled any more than I am and I still have so much living I want to do, so the compromise has been to seek medical help.
I have no problem with researchers, I have no problem with scientists, I have no problem with consultants, doctors or nurses or any other group involved in this procedure, what I have a problem with is the Pharmaceutical companies charging so much money that they hold the NHS to ransom. They choose if we live or die and each of us has a price ticket on our heads, I feel strongly about this because so many people are ill in the world and most are not as lucky as me. I had the choice to take these drugs and I had the choice to not, most have no choice at all and that makes me sad inside. I have been through hell in the last year and I honestly had times when I didn’t think I would make it out alive, it just seemed to hard but now I feel a little better so fingers crossed when I am well I can do something to rid myself of guilt I have for being lucky enough to be in the situation I am. Charity work has always been important to me but I think I might have to think up something big to do.
Love for now