Last night was a bit of a disaster, I had a ropey day anyway, feeling a little rough but I over did it and ended up picking up a scolding hot baking tray with my bare left hand. I actually lifted it up before realising how hot it was as I have little sensation and feeling in my left hand. I then proceeded to have my hand in a bowl of cold water. I was kept awake lying on the couch with my hand in water until about 3.30 in the morning. Burns are like no other pain, I honestly felt like the tops of my fingers had been cut off and my raw nerves were just exposed. I should explain that I have not had feeling in my hands for about 4/5 years now less in my left hand so when I feel anything in my hands it is usually unpleasant and I find it difficult to deal with.
I will say that once again The Man was my night in shining armour and looked after me amazingly well. He tucked me up kept changing my cold water bowl and generally taking care of me. I bet he must get sick of having to look after me. I think it is a lesson learnt this time, usually when it hurts that much I remember. Year ago, when I was about 8 my Dad was sick and I was trying to be grown up and look after him, I went to make him a hot water bottle (pretty sure I wasn't allowed to do it) and I poured the water in too fast, the water shot out and burnt my hand. I remember this so well because it hurt so much that I was awake all night with my hand in a bowl of cold water. It was only last year that I learnt to make hot water bottles again, after a 22 year learning curve. Saying that it will not be 22 year gap between me making The Man's dinner. I guess what I am trying to get over is that sometimes hurting myself is the way I learn best, things like burns will definitely make me think twice about being too tired and trying to cook elaborate meals.
I have to tell you that I got a little annoyed at The Man's work situation tonight after he got home around 19:30 and then took a call at 20:00. I know that it is not his fault and that the company he is working for currently are a pain in the arse and don't have proper boundaries. It annoyed me because he had 8 hours at work where they could get a hold of him, I have around 3-4 hours in the evening with him and I don't want them to interrupt that time. It would be different if this company had a support contract with The Man or even his company but they don't, they are just exploiting his good nature. I get so wound up and I know that it doesn't help the situation and I know that it is not fair on Then Man because it is a difficult situation for him to be in as well. I need to get better at staying calm and not wanted to throw his phone out the window. AAAHHHH! I think I am very hormonal so probably not the sanest part of the month for me.
Right I must go as I have a date with Simon Pegg and Kinny (my Kindle)
Loves always
Jess xxxxx
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